What Else Could Possibly Go Wrong?

I better knock on wood. And cross my fingers. And pray and hope that the answer is “nothing”.

Today has been one of those Murphy’s Law days, in which “anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”. Thanks Murphy, whoever you are were.

It all started at 3:00 this morning when Emily woke up laughing. She was all party at my crib, 3 am and I was all no Emily, the party doesn’t start at 3 am, it ends at 3 am. Duh.

Then when we woke up for reals around 10ish, I noticed a God-awful looking rash on Emily’s arm, and it scared the crap out of me. I panicked. I took a picture of it. I sent said picture to my mom, because I knew she would know exactly what it was, because hello? Let’s just say she’s been around a few kids. But no. Strikeout. She is all like call the doctor! It’s your child! I know you hate talking on the phone, but you have to call! And I was all like ok, ok, I’ll call. Some time today.

So then I called, and had to wait a whole hour for a nurse to call me back. 1 whole hour? Emily’s arm could have fallen off in that time. It didn’t, but I’m just saying. It totally could have. The nurse told me to mark it and call back if I noticed any changes or spreading. So I marked it, and then took more pictures of it. See?


So since my morning was already fabulous, I decided “Hey, why not walk into the baby swing?” And that is exactly what I did next. Which resulted in some screaming, almost crying, a little bit of lip biting, a missing chunk of skin, some blood, and the loss of exactly 3/5 of a toenail. See?


Wow. I was on a roll. But it gets even better. You see, as I was making my lunch I burned my thumb. Sorry, I didn’t take a picture of that. Maybe some other time.

Then my MIL calls to tell me about a job opening – yes! a real live job! And to think that the governor put a freeze on hiring teachers. Poo poo on him. How will students ever learn without teachers? Anywho, I called the school to check it out (because the BOE is always majorly unhelpful and they suck monkey balls) and the secretary/receptionist/whatever they call themselves these days was all like You will have to call the BOE. I can’t give you any information. And I was all like But can’t you just tell me if the position is available? And she was all like go look on the BOE website. Ugh. So that is what I did. And lo and behold, I couldn’t believe my eyes! There is an opening! And it’s been vacant since May1! And even though it’s at the high school and I am only certified in Middle Grades, if they are desperate enough, they might hire me! So since I know the principal from my days as a substitute, I shot him a lovely, very professional-sounding email. And this, this is where things could possibly go wrong. I am trying very hard not to get my hopes up, but if you’re in any way religious, would you shout a little prayer up to God for me? Thanks, you’re a doll.

Ok, so back to my not-so-wonderful day. I took Emily to my in-law’s house to see a friend who was visiting, and Emily is all whiny and fussy and pulling at her ear. Great. That’s just perfect. So now we are both equally defective. Her with her bug-bitten/rashy arm and aching ears, and me with my scunt-up toes and 1st degree burns.

Thank the Lord that this day is almost over. At least I don’t have to cook tonight. (Thanks Mrs. Becky!)


One thought on “What Else Could Possibly Go Wrong?

  1. I’m sorry dear but I haven’t ever seen that on an infant. Maybe I’m just paranoid because one she is an infant, and two because she’s my favorite granddaughter. Also, I know you think I have my hands full down here, but if ya need a break, just bring her to me. I’ve nicknamed Brianna, Grandma because she’s almost as possesive of Emily. LOL

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