A few Inspirations for an Exhausting Day

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” – Ghandi

So today was tough. I don’t know what was wrong with the kids, but they would not shut up! Plus, the other student teacher who is here with me gave me a baby update today. Yep, she is 21 wonderful weeks along, while my belly sits empty and alone, waiting until the day that a baby will fill it as well. Plus, last night I found out about an acquaintance who was married 1 month after Denny and I, and she is pregnant! So if you can’t tell, I have THE FEVER. The all-consuming, always on my mind, all I can think about, jealousy-driven baby fever! Everyone around me is having or has recently had a baby (well, not everybody). And in the back of my mind, I can hear my mother’s voice saying, “well if all of your friends jumped off of a cliff, would you jump too?” Well no, but this time, it is different. This time, the “thing” that I want so badly is not harmful to me, and it’s not going to get me into any trouble. So why can’t I do it?   TIME.    It’s all about timing. Gotta wait until I finish school (less than 3 months). Until I get a job (hopefully next month). Until Denny is ready (in about 2 years, he says). Well I can’t wait that long! I am one of those people who was born to be a mother. Not someone who just happens to get pregnant and then has a baby. But someone who can’t wait to know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside, learning about every single development as it occurs. Someone who can’t wait to pick out names and baby furniture, buy clothes, take millions of pictures of a sleeping baby, read bedtime stories, go for walks, rock to sleep, and so on. You know what I am talking about. You have known someone like that before, I’m sure. Well, I’m her. I keep trying to tell myself that I can wait. That once I have a baby, it’s mine forever, and I should wait as long as I can. Well it’s not that easy!

“Try to be happy in this present moment, and put not off being so to a time to come – as though that time should be of another make from this which has already come and is ours.” – Thomas Fuller


2 thoughts on “A few Inspirations for an Exhausting Day

  1. Having a baby is totally different from jumping off of a cliff. As far as you having a baby you know my feelings about that. I can’t wait to be Grandma, I don’t know who wants you to get pregnant the most you or I. I also understand what you mean by born to have babies. If situations would have been different I would have probably had more that just the three of ya’ll. I came from a big family so I figured that was the reason. But we just love children. Just don’t try and set any records of how many you have.

  2. Wow! You have been blogging, girl! Lots of reading to catch up on!

    Babies are beautiful, wonderful, sweet-smelling, precious beings!

    But word of warning–they grow up to be bratty little kids that like to say “Poop” a lot! 🙂

    (Read today’s post!!)

    But that said, I can honestly say, you are right! There is nothing better than being a Mom!

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